Deathly Heroes: Eileen in Underland
by RabidOrochimaruOtaku
Summary: She left Hogwarts only to be pushed down a rabbit hole underneath the Whomping willow by "Uncle" Severus. She continues to think that she is dreaming, and is confused at how to fulfill her section of the Prophecy she was told in Prince/Snape Manor. Now, she gets to fulfill her own destiny in her new location - and find a little love on the way? Set in Underland/Wonderland.
1. Down the Rabbit Hole

I own nothing! I don't own Harry Potter or Alice In Wonderland, or any of the characters in either one! I just own the Snape family members (except for Severus, of course), and the other OC's.

* * *

Eileen passed numerous things on her way down, her frantic yelling turning into terrified bloodcurdling screams. Hourglasses, portraits, spindles, a computer, a laptop, bookshelves, books, Telivision sets, cauldrons, a four poster bed and a strange looking necklace that looked like it had a pendant with a tiny hourglass in it were only some of the things that she ran into as she fell.

"Help!" she yelled before finally bursting down onto a floor. She looked around and was astonished to find her hair upside down and the chandelier as well. She furrowed her brow in confusion before looking up.

She was immediately flipped over as a result, and landed on the checkered tile floor. She eyed the doors, recalling this from a movie, and knew that the tiniest door was the one to go through. She drank the tiny vial of the drink before shrinking only to find that she'd left the key on the table. She huffed and ate a tiny little cake that read "eat me" in blue frosting. She scowled as she was soon growing so tall that she was forced to stoop in order to remain in the room, even with cracking the ceiling above her. she scooped the key into her hand and drank the tiny drink whose label said "drink me" again.

"Thank Salazar," she breathed as she turned the key.

"Oww!" the doorknob yelled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, could you open the door please?" Eileen asked sarcastically. He glared before blowing a raspberry. "Okay, then I'll just blow your door off its hinges."

"What is it with you witches and wizards and always doing that instead of using your manners?" he yelled angrily. "That's what the last one said, too!"

"Well, then would you please open?" she growled through grit teeth.

"Fine," he grumbled before swinging open. "I hope the Red Queen gets her way with you!"

"Whatever," Eileen grumbled as she walked into this new world. "Whoa… Unbelievable… I'm in Wonderland…"

She was so engrossed in the tiny dragons and rocking horses with wings flying around her head that she didn't notice the Tall Flowers until she ran smack dab into one of their stems.

"How rude! Typical of a weed!" one scoffed.

"I can set you on fire if you truly think that," Eileen grinned evilly. She'd truly picked up a bunch of things from her Uncle Severus, and even more from her father - Voldemort. "Or would you rather I tortured you until you wilted slowly and painfully?"

"She's worse than the Red Queen!" one shrieked, and Eileen turned to face a small white hare who'd come up to her. She looked up to find a blue dodo, a flamingo, and a rather large set of twins had joined her as well.

"I'm telling you, she's the wrong one!" a small white mouse yelled from the top of the white rabbit's head.

"No, I think she's the right one," the dodo said confidently.

"If she ain't, then she ain't," one of the twins said.

"If she is, then hooray," the other said with a grin.

"We'll take her to Absolem, he'll know," the rabbit said.

"I'll lead her!" one twin said jerking on her arm.

"No, I will!" the other argued.

"You bigots, you can _both _lead me," Eileen laughed as she held her arms out for the two.

"Why would you do that?" they asked confused.

"Because I've never had anyone fight over me before, and to be honest, it's kind of sweet," she smiled.

The twins deadpanned as they led her away, wondering if she was as mad as the hatter.

* * *

Let me know if there are any lines you'd like to hear, I'd love to feature some of them! I've already decided on most of the tea party scene, but I need some help – does anyone know what the Hatter is saying after Cheshire says "what happened that day was not my fault"? I can't figure it out, and I've tried so very hard!

I thank everyone who has reviewed on any of my stories thus far! Reading them has made me feel so lighthearted that I could write fanfics and crossovers all day if I didn't have to eat, sleep, and go to school! Although I won't deny, I sometimes work my dreams into fanfic chapters…

Reviews?


	2. Cats and Catterpillars

I own nothing! I don't own Harry Potter or Alice In Wonderland, or any of the characters in either one! I just own the Snape family members (except for Severus, of course), and the other OC's.

* * *

"So, what exactly is an Absolem?" Eileen asked, and they stared at her. "And who, or what, are you lot?"

"I'm Tweedledee, and that's Tweedledum," one of the two said, and Eileen looked between the two to figure out which one was which.

"I'm Nivens," the white hare said, "The blue dodo's Ualliem, the pink flamingo is… what _is _your name?"

"Uriah," he scowled. "Anyways, you have a wand, yes?"

"Yeah, it's in its sheath," she scowled. "Why? How'd you know I was a witch?"

"It was foretold," one shuddered. "That a wielder of a wand would wield the Vorpal sword and slay the Jabberwocky. What is your name?"

"Eileen," she said confused. "Why?"

"Not the daughter of a snake, are ye?" Mallymkuns asked fearfully, and Eileen blinked.

"My father is often called a 'stupid snake' since he has done his best to personify it and can speak the language of the snakes, but he's still… barely human," she said honestly.

"Absolem will know," the rabbit repeated.

"Alright, that's it! What's an Absolem? And don't you dare tell me that you don't know or I'll hex you to next week!" Eileen said stopping cold and yanking her hand to draw her wand.

"We're almost to him," the dodo soothed, "Peace. We will not bring harm upon someone who could possibly be our hero to save us from _her._"

"This is _my _dream!" Eileen snorted. "I'll wake up back in Hyrule in no time!"

She pinched her arm and reopened her eyes to find the twins doing double takes and blinking stupidly at her. She growled angrily and let them lead her away, even though she wanted to go back to Hyrule and strangle Sheik for dragging her to this place where people were so damn pushy.

Twenty yards later, Eileen found out what they were talking about. It was in a cloud of blue smoke, and looked as though it were higher than a kite. Then she noticed just what it was – a caterpillar.

"Who are you?" he asked, and she noticed that he sounded just like her Uncle Severus.

"Absolem?" she asked confused.

"No, you are not Absolem. _I _am Absolem. Stupid girl" he said truly reminding her much more of her Uncle Severus.

"Eileen," she said.

"No, you are most certainly not Eileen," he said. "Unroll the Eraculum."

Eileen looked as an extremely old scroll was strewn out before her. She stared, and looked at the rabbit and caterpillar before looking back at the scroll.

"So, this is today," Eileen said, pointing at a picture of a girl leaned over a scroll, and the dormouse confirmed. "What are we looking for?"

"The Frabjous day," he said, pointing at where a girl was slaying a large dragon.

"Okay," Eileen said nonchalantly. "So your champion shows up sometime between now and then."

"Run! Hearts!" the dormouse warned, and the others panicked and scattered.

"It's just a dream," Eileen repeated as she ran before stopping and wheeling around. "This isn't real, it can't harm me."

"Run!" the dormouse yelled as the bandersnatch slashed at Eileen's arm.

She screamed out in pain and fell backwards as Mally raced up and jabbed the bandersnatch in the eye with a needle, yanking the eye out of its socket. Eileen used accidental magic and apparated away, not knowing where she was going.

She looked around her to find that she was in a forest, and so she set down the path. Out of seemingly nowhere, she collapsed onto the ground, unmoving.

The last thing she saw before she lost consciousness was a set of tabby paws vanishing into the air in front of her as someone else on a horse approached in the distance.

* * *

How many years should it be until Eileen wakes up? Let me know what you think!

Review!


	3. Over the Years

I own nothing! I don't own Harry Potter or Alice In Wonderland, or any of the characters in either one! I just own the Snape family members (except for Severus, of course), and the other OC's.

So, as a recap, Eileen is in a coma to protect her in a location known only to her parents, since Eileen the first had used the Fidelius charm in death.

* * *

"Hello, dear," a kind voice said, and Eileen looked around her to find herself in a small clearing, and that there were two people with her – one witch, one Muggle.

"Who are you?" Eileen demanded, fishing for her wand.

"Your namesake," she said smiling softly, and Eileen (the younger) froze.

"Grandmother?" Eileen asked confused, and the woman smiled wider and nodded. "Then – then that's grandfather back there?"

"Yes," she smiled and looked over her shoulder at Tobias Snape. "You should be happy – your soul mate is in this world, Eileen."

"What?" the younger Eileen asked baffled. "What about Kiru's?"

"She'll find hers," the elder witch laughed, "Trust me. Now, listen closely – whatever you do, don't think for a second that you're dreaming the next time you wake up. Doing so will only kill you. However, you must also trick the others into thinking that you think you are still dreaming."

"Okay," the student nodded. "So, who's my soul mate?"

"You'll see him when you wake up after a bit of journeying with your familiar," the older Eileen laughed heartily. "You'll see. Just don't judge him too harshly."

"Okay," Eileen said pondering what her grandmother meant. "When will I wake up?"

"When it's a few days before the time for you to fulfill your destiny," she smiled. "And just follow your heart, and whatever you do – _don't _go back up without your soul mate. You'll all die if you do. That's part of why they all failed before – it's because each world needs to have at least one representative beside their hero to fulfill the prophecies. Oh, and your familiar is also in this world. You'd be surprised what he can do."

"Anything _else _I need to worry about?" the younger Eileen asked.

"Yes – be a good girl and don't break his heart," the older Eileen said as a wind blew harshly. "Ah, the prophecy. Well, it was foretold that after Alice had come and gone from Underland – she'd called it Wonderland – a new human would return, one who had accompanied Alice. You see, they think you left Underland. Now, they will need to know that you've returned, and probably will know now that _she _has spies everywhere."

"Wait, everyone keeps talking about her? Who is she?" the younger Eileen asked, and the older one sighed.

"I must go. Remember what I've said. You'll wake up once a few years have passed so that you'll fit."

"What do you mean?" the young girl asked confused, but her grandparents were gone. "Now what do I do?"

She stared around her in confusion. Tea parties, herself painting white roses red, cards folding over themselves to create a croquet field, a cat that would vanish partway and leave nothing but its eyes and grin, an insane woman who kept screaming at her for what appeared to be no reason, and lastly a voice, a fleeting voice that kept telling her that she would one day be needed and loved by someone if she would only give him the chance.

For the longest times those images and sounds would replay in her head, making Eileen think that she was finally going mad. She shrugged it off however, since she thought this better than the recurring nightmares of her time in Wool's orphanage. She shuddered at that thought and pushed it away, content to watch the scenes replaying in front of her, determined to analyze them down to the very minutest of the details.

"I will not be caught off guard again," she growled angrily.

* * *

Okay, so again, she can't be found, and in her unconsciousness (which will last a span of a few years since she's twelve and will need to fulfill her destiny at eighteen, she finally begins to realize that she's in trouble. Only Cheshire can find her – if he wanted to. Which, he doesn't, so she doesn't care. Her location will be revealed in the next chapter.

Review please! I'll throw you an un-birthday party if you do!


	4. Waking Up

Cheshire Cat: She doesn't own me... or any other character from Underland...

Eileen: Or from Hogwarts and Harry Potter. Well, except me and my family. Except my dad and mom's brother.

ROO: Y-yeah, what they said. Um... Please, enjoy. I tried to give Eileen a tidbit of a reason to be a bit barmy.

Enjoy. *RabidOrochimaruOtaku and Eileen sit back to watch, while Cheshire vanishes*

* * *

Eileen awoke to a strange sensation, her head spinning madly. She moved her head off to her right to find that she was in a spare bedroom, and that it had multiple sets of fabrics and patterns for various clothing attire and accessories. Dresses, shirts, pants, and aprons all adorned the area, in all sorts of different sizes, but the article that was most prominent to Eileen was hats.

"Hello, dear," a kind voice said, and Eileen lifted her head heavily and wearily.

The woman in question was dressed in pure white, and was very, very old. Her eyes were a rich emerald, and her old hands a tad bit swollen, as though from sewing for the majority of her life. Eileen noticed that she carried a locket on her neck, and wondered vaguely if she had once been married.

"Hi," Eileen said warily, and was astonished at her own voice, as well as a number of other things that were different now. "How long …?"

"You were asleep for six years, child," she said wisely, "I have watched over you all this time. It is the last standing home of the Hightopp family, but alas my son never returned from protecting the White Queen all those years ago…"

"I'm so sorry," Eileen said sitting up, noticing that she now had a proper feminine figure. "That will take some getting used to."

"Yes, it will, won't it?" she laughed. "It must be very confusing for someone to wake up at eighteen after being twelve for your last waking moments. Tell me, child, what is your name?"

"Eileen," she said warily. "But we're not sure if I'm the one everyone was talking about."

"I know," she smiled wisely, "The Cheshire cat doesn't usually save a person's life. He usually likes to cause mischief."

"The gray tabby? Was his other color really blue?" Eileen asked, and she laughed.

"You poor dear! You only saw his paws, didn't you? Yes, he was quite appalled at who you were, and why you have a connection of sorts with him," she giggled. "He is your familiar, I believe. He's around here somewhere."

"So, um, if I've been asleep for six years… what became of my world above?" Eileen asked fearfully, and the old woman's gaze hardened.

"Nothing," she beamed. "One month for them is a year for us. You've still got a few more of their months in order to go back up there. You've got plenty of time to settle down and start a family once the Frabjous day comes and goes."

"Joy," Eileen muttered. "What's your son's name?"

"It's sad... I can only remember his face…," she said softly, tears filling her eyes. "He has my eyes you know, and my orange hair. I had him at the end of my child-bearing years. He was my only one, and now… I'm the last Hightopp… our family is doomed, and the last of the hatters for the queen…"

"I'll help you," Eileen said leaning forward to hug the now-crying woman. "You _won't _be alone. As soon as the Frabjous day is over, I'll come back and begin to learn the trade, I promise."

"Thank you, child," she sobbed, clutching Eileen closer to her. "Thank you. May the White Queen accept your offer."

Eileen beamed before exiting the house, looking around her in confusion. Wonderland was so much different now. She was terrified as the bandersnatch again raced to her, one eye socket missing, clawing at her arm again. This time, she retaliated with a stunning spell, and a Fiendfyre spell that burnt the cards into oblivion. Or so she thought.

In reality, she'd only made them hotter and much, much more angry. They surrounded the bandersnatch and Eileen fled through the forest once more, forcing herself to stay awake, and realized that her body had shut itself down last time to protect her, and that this time she was going to fulfill her destiny.

Out of nowhere, a gray and blue striped cat appeared, purring loudly. She smiled at it, giving it a look that simply screamed that she was as mad as a hatter. He looked at her and sized her up, noticing the claw marks on her arm.

"It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws," he said floating before her.

"I've never stopped dreaming," Eileen muttered to herself, her mind going back to her six-year coma.

"What did that to you?" the cat asked, and Eileen's eyes met his.

"The bander-who… the bander…" she struggled.

"The bandersnatch?" he asked as he suddenly vanished and then reappeared behind Eileen and she turns to face him. "Well, I'd better have a look."

"What are you doing?" Eileen asked baffled.

"It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills, or it will fester and putrefy," he told her.

"I'll be fine as soon as I wake up," Eileen insisted.

"At least let me bind it for you," he said kindly as he held out a blue handkerchief. She hesitantly held out her arm and he gently wrapped the cloth around it to keep the injury safe. "What do you call yourself?"

"Eileen," she said.

"_The _Eileen?" he asked, his eyes widening in awe.

"There's been quite a bit of debate about that," Eileen said warily.

"I never get involved in politics," he beamed before disappearing.

"Hey!" she yelled, "Aren't you going to help me? I'm lost!"

"Well, then where are you headed?" he asked, "The way you need to go will tell you what path to take."

"Um, the White Queen?" Eileen guessed, "Aren't you going to ask me the most basic question? What is my weapon?"

"A wand," he grinned as he reappeared, "How interesting… you do not yet have a familiar… such a pity… Come. You'll need to see the March Hare and the Mad Hatter."

Eileen shrugged and followed the cat down a path that lead through a set of dark and dreary woods. She wondered just how mad the hatter was and if he was related to her rescuer.

* * *

So, yes, the tea party scene is up next! Oh, I love that scene! Oh, but somebody, anybody, please, _please _help me figure out just what the Mad Hatter is saying once he goes on his angry rant at Cheshire! I can't figure it out!

Review! What do you think? I know, the romance isn't here yet, but she'll find it soon enough.


	5. Tea Party

I don't own HP or Alice in Wonderland. Enjoy.

* * *

Eileen followed Cheshire until she saw a large set of tables. To her astonishment, the scene looked like déjà vu to her. She shrugged it off as she saw the three occupants of the table – Mally the dormouse, the March Hare, and who she could only assume was the Mad Hatter – waking up from their various stupors.

The dormouse appeared from a teacup, yawning loudly for her size, the eyeball of the bandersnatch resting on her hindquarters. The March Hare stretched before noticing she was there and began stuttering. The Mad Hatter was the last to awaken, and his eyes seemed to light up like emeralds, and Eileen recalled the words of her rescuer.

"_He has my eyes you know, and my orange hair. I had him at the end of my child-bearing years. He was my only one, and now… I'm the last Hightopp… our family is doomed, and the last of the hatters for the queen…"_

Eileen considered that this man was her son, but before she could do so for long, he was up and standing on the table, making his way towards her by walking across it and knocking teapots and cups every which way.

"Watch what you're doing!" Mally yelled angrily as he did so.

"It's you," he breathed as he reached the end and leapt down looking at her.

"No it's not!" Mally protested. "McTwisp brought us the wrong Eileen!"

"It's the wrong Eileen?" the Hare asked as he yanked down on his ears and his eyes widened in horror.

"It's absolutely Eileen," the hatter said assuring them. "You're absolutely Eileen, I'd know you anywhere. I'd know him anywhere!"

Mally and the Hare giggled and laughed (respectively) at his words.

"Well, as you can see, we're still having tea, and it's all because I was obliged to kill time waiting for your return. You're terribly late you know – naughty," he scolded gently as he picked her up and carried her across the table and set her down beside him on a set of books. "Well, anyway, time became quite offended and stopped altogether. Not a tick ever since."

Cheshire cat appeared as the hatter said offended, startling the March Hare into flinching and jumping slightly in his seat and ramming his cup on the table without realizing it. The March Hare began laughing at the hatter's words before noticing something and frowning.

"Cup," he said sadly.

"Time can be funny in dreams," Eileen said.

"Yes, yes, of course, but now you're back you see, and we need to get on to the Frabjous day," the hatter said.

"Frabjous tea time!" the hare and dormouse rejoiced before giggling and laughing.

"I'm investigating things that begin with the letter M," the hatter said thoughtfully before turning to Eileen and leaning towards her. "Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?"

"Down with the Bloody Big Head!" the hare, dormouse, and hatter spat and said, respectively, in unison.

"What?" Eileen asked incredulously.

"Down with the bloody big head, bloody big head being the Red Queen," the cat explained calmly as he tapped his spoon on the edge of his cup.

"Come, come, we simply must commence with the slaying and such! And therefore it is high time to forgive and forget, or forget and forgive – whichever comes first, or as in any case, of most convenience! I'm waiting," he said quickly and pulled out a pocket-watch and stared at it.

"It's-it's ticking again," the March Hare said as he pulled his out of his teacup and looked at it as it ticked loudly before he put it back in the tea.

"All this talk of blood and slaying has put me off my tea."

"Well, the entire _world _is falling to ruin. And, poor Chessie is off his…_tea_," Hatter drawled as he fidgeted with something in front of him.

"What happened that day was not my fault," he retorted, and the entire area became suddenly quiet as the hatter darkly stood up with his emerald eyes turning a bright orange and black shadows were created immediately under his eyes as his whole countenance darkened.

"Oh dear," the March Hare murmured quietly as he shrank back into his chair to hide.

"You ran out on them to save your own skin, you guddler's scuttish pilgar lickering Bar lom muck egg brimni -!" the hatter began darkly and quietly, raising his voice to the point that he could be heard a ways away.

"Hatter!" Mally yelled, and he immediately stopped short and his countenance returned to the normal that it had been when he'd seen Eileen. The black shadows were gone now, to be replaced with a bright baby blue above his eyes and a baby pink below them.

"Thank you," hatter said strained.

"Ooh, meow," the Hare smirked.

"I'm fine," the hatter snapped.

"What's wrong with you, Tarrant? You used to be the light of the party! You used to do the best Fudderwacken in all of wits end!" Chessie smirked as he tapped his spoon against his teacup some more.

"Fudder-what?" Eileen asked curiously.

"Fudderwacken!" the Hare grinned stupidly as he stood up.

"It's a dance," Mally explained as the Hare started dancing.

"On the Frabjous day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown. – on _that _day, I shall Fudderwacken _vigorously_," Tarrant said with a smirk as he stalked around the room, growling out this last word and Harry and Mally and the Hare laughed maniacally.

Within seconds they were hearing a horse's neighing in the midst of their laughter.

* * *

I'm sure you all know what happens next. But, anyhow, I simply _loved _this scene in the movie, and just _couldn't _bear to change it!

Please tell me what you think. As an un-birthday present?


	6. Finding Fate

Another familiar bit. I still don't own.

"The knave," Mally said quietly after gasping as the March Hare scrambled onto the table to hide.

"Good-bye," Cheshire grinned before vanishing.

The Hare gasped and scrambled back to his seat as the hatter forced a drink down Eileen's throat. He quickly gathered her up as she shrunk further and pushed her gently into a teapot and closed the lid on her. Eileen rammed on the lid, demanding to be let out, and heard a man's foot meet the ground as he dismounted.

"Well, if it's not my favorite trio," Stayne, the Knave of hearts, grinned, "Of Lunatics."

"Would you like to join us?" Mally asked sincerely.

"You're all late for _tea_!" the hare yelled as he threw a cup of tea at Stayne, who dodged and sauntered forward with a warning glare. The cup instead hit a card soldier and the Hare and the Dormouse burst into laughter.

"We're looking for the girl," Stayne said, "Called, ah, Eileen."

"Speaking of the Queen, here's a little song we used to sing in her honor," the hatter said before beginning to lead his companions in a song.

"If you're hiding her, you'll lose your heads," Stayne threatened with a dark chuckle as he wrapped his arm around the hatter's throat.

"Already lost them," the hatter choked out before Stayne released him in shock as Mally and the Hare burst into laughter. "Altogether now!"

The trio began singing, and a bloodhound began sniffing under the table. He sniffed the teapot, and immediately knew that this was someone Hatter was protecting – he could see it in how the hatter held his hand on top of the teapot.

"Would you like some tea?" the March Hare offered, holding out a cup to Stayne, who'd been walking around the table. Stayne rolled his eyes as he accepted the tea and the bloodhound began barking as he ran off in a different direction.

"Follow the bloodhound," he ordered as he brought the cup to his lips, and the cards ran off.

"Sugar?" Mally offered.

"Yes, please," the hare accepted, and she launched a sugar cube into his empty cup with a spoon. "Well, that's lovely."

"You're all mad," he spat.

"Thanks very much," the hare saluted, and Stayne threw down his cup, having had more than enough of the trio's lunacy, which Eileen was beginning to enjoy and admire somewhat.

"Pardon," the hatter whispered as he opened the lid to reveal Eileen glaring up at him, and he put the lid back on and leaving just enough room for his fingers to fish around for some lace. "One moment."

He pulled out some lace, layered it, flattened it out, and quickly set to work. Within seconds, he had a new dress for Eileen, and he smiled.

"Yes, try this on for size," he smiled as he put the tiny dress back into the teapot. A few minutes later, Eileen knocked on the lid and he opened it. he picked her up, eyeing her outfit, and set her on the table gently. "Mmm… I like it!"

"Good thing the blood hound is one of us, or you'd be," Mally said and made a decapitated motion and noise.

"What do they want me for? If I have to I can hex them sixty ways to Sunday," Eileen laughed.

"Your carriage, milady," the hatter said as he put it next to her on the table.

"The hat?" Eileen laughed.

"Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute _best _way to travel, is by _hat,_" he beamed, and pondered it for a second. "Have I made a rhyme?"

"I love going by hat!" Mally said going forwards.

"Eileen only, Mally," the hatter scolded, "But some other time."

"What about by broomstick?" Eileen asked, and the hatter laughed maniacally.

"I've always wanted to try that!" he admitted. "Mother would tell stories of how I was destined to be able to use magic somehow, but I wonder if she was already mad when she had said that. I do miss her terribly sometimes. I haven't had the heart to go back home since everything was destroyed."

"I'll show you sometime," Eileen beamed. "How can you kill a spider who can't catch anybody?"

"I'll have to think of that," he said thoughtfully as he left the table and ducked as Thackery threw a cup at him.

They went down to the lake, and were astonished to find that it was now black. Eileen stared at it before realizing what it was. She stared at it, beginning to let her mind whirl, and soon burst into a grin that rivaled both the Hatter's and Cheshire's.

"'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe All mimsy were the borogoves And the mome raths outgrabe," he said darkly.

"Sorry, what was that?" Eileen asked confused as she dropped from his hat to his shoulder.

"What was what?" he shot back darkly. "The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame Jaws that bite and claws that catch! Beware the Jabberwock, my son! And the frumious Bandersnatch! He took his Vorpal Sword in hand The Vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. It's all about you, you know."

"I don't slay, so put it out of your mind. I couldn't even if I wanted to – except on my father," she said dejectedly.

"Mind," he said as putting her down on a large stump and then turned to walk away.

"Wait! You can't leave me here!" she called out.

"Ya don't slay," he snarled, "Do you have any _idea _what the Red Queen has done? You don't slay."

"Well, if I had a reason to, I might," she reasoned. "Why? What's the Red Queen done? Surely Leis Carroll's _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland _and _Through the Looking Glass _weren't just stories if I'm here. Tell me what I'm not knowing."

"Alice," he murmured. "Alice was from a very, very long time ago. I was named after my great-great-great grandfather, Tarrant Hightopp, who was the Mad Hatter of the time. Alice never returned to Underland like everyone thought she would. No, she remained above, even though her only current child remained here, with my namesake."

"So, how do I fit in all this?" Eileen asked confused.

"Your papa was her descendant," he said simply. "Through Tom Riddle the elder. He was a descendant of about two thousand years of the original Alice. It's where your father and you get your madness you know."

"So, we're both mad, I'm a witch, you're a hatter, you're the Mad Hatter of my time, and now I'm the Mad Witch of my time. Joys," Eileen summed up. "Sounds fun. But Hatter, why is my father the bad kind of mad while we're the good kind of mad?"

"Because," he said simply, "It was because he also grew up in the orphanage you did. You grew up alone, feeding on darkness and fear of your own, while he grew up feeding on darkness and fear of others. He thought his mother's lineage made him special. You think of it as a… weapon to be used to fight for the right reasons. Love, family, a home."

"Things my father are all incapable of understanding," Eileen said darkly. "Now tell me Hatter, if my father doesn't understand them, then can I understand them, or am I just as ignorant as he is?"

"I don't know," he murmured. "You were much more muchier. You've lost your muchness."

"My muchness?" she asked.

"In there," he said, pointing to her heart with his finger. "Something's missing."

"Tell me what Red Queen has done," she insisted.

"It was here," he began. "I was hatter to the white Queen at the time. Hightopp clan have always been employed at court…"

* * *

Well, if you've watched the movie, you know what happened. If not… you're out of luck. I'm not repeating the whole thing by script. Sorry, but that's not how I work. Only some of the time.

Reviews! They make me happier than the Mad Hatter!


	7. Mamareal

Hatter: *laughs*

Eileen: He's insane. RabidOrochimaruOtaku only owns me in this fanfic. Sorry, kids, but that's the truth.

Hatter: Oh, but what about that one person…

Eileen: Oh yeah, and the person who rescued me. She owns her, too. Aside from that, look to the real authors, not her.

Hatter: Down With The Bloody Big Head!

Eileen: We're working that way, Hatter. Thus, with that said, on with our story. Where were we? Ah, yes! Off to the White Queen's Palace!

* * *

"Why is it that you're always too small or too tall?" Hatter asked as he finished his tale, and Eileen shrugged. "I'm investigating things that begin with the letter L."

"Laryngitis, Loony, Luna, London, Lord, Lakes, Little, Ladies, Love," Eileen rattled, and stopped at the last one and pondered that thought.

"Now you've regained some of your muchness," he smiled. "Now, let's investigate love. How is love like a hatter?"

"Can't live with them and can't live without them?" Eileen guessed, and he beamed.

"Exactly!" he yelled happily as he clapped his hands in glee. "Now, How is a snake like a princess?"

"A princess can be a Parselmouth," Eileen pondered, and the hatter tilted his head. "You don't know what a Parselmouth is?"

"No. Tell me. I want to know all about the world above that you come from," he smiled, and she launched into a tale of what Hogwarts was like, about the war above and how her father was fighting against her best friend and the two were trying to kill each other as the leaders of the armies, and left almost nothing out that happened to her after age eleven.

"So, in short," she breathed as they reached the white castle. "My world's a mess up there, and will be in even more so once the war is over because the government will start accusing people left right and center of crimes they didn't commit. And they'll put my Uncle in prison for being a Death Eater when he was only doing it as a spy to protect the Champion of my world!"

"My, my," a woman sighed, "That's a horrible fate for your world. Welcome to Mamareal. I am Mirana, the White Queen."

"It's an honor to meet you, ma'am," Eileen bowed lowly as the hatter kneeled.

"It's alright dears," she laughed. "You don't need to bow to me, Eileen Snape-Riddle. Yes, I know of your connection to he-who-must-not-be-named, as well as the taboo upon your father's name."

"I hate him," Eileen snapped. "I hope Harry kills that bastard!"

"Oh me, oh my," the queen murmured. "Quite the feisty new champion."

"You mean compared to Alice," Eileen said putting her arms across her chest, and the queen nodded. "I think we need a game plan. What do we need to do now?"

"You need to be de-aged," she said, "So that my sister won't recognize you. You'll need to infiltrate her castle without… losing your head…"

"I've already lost it," Eileen shrugged, and the hatter giggled maniacally. "He has, too. By the way, your majesty and hatter… I wish you both a Happy Un-birthday."

"Why thank you," they smiled. "And a happy un-birthday to you as well, my dear."

"So, when do I leave?" Eileen asked, and the queen's eyes widened.

"Oh, not for a few days yet, dear," she said quickly. "I believe there is someone here to see you, my dearest ones. Come."

She led them to a fountain and looked at it in confusion. The hatter gasped before realizing who was in the water. His dead father.

"Papa," he croaked. Eileen looked closer to find another couple waiting for her: two angels, both wearing roman togas.

"Hello, baby," the female said, and Eileen realized that she was looking both at her mother, and the woman that Uncle Severus had called his sister.

"Mama," she breathed, and put her fingertips to the water.

"Yes," she breathed. "Yes, yes, it's me baby. Oh, Eileen I'm so proud of you!"

"But, mama, I haven't done anything worthy of pride," she frowned. "I can't even figure out grandmother's riddle."

"Gaunt, or Prince?" the male asked, and Eileen looked at him confused.

"Ah, Eileen, this is your step-father," she introduced. "You'll get to know each other a little more and better once it comes time to fulfill the prophecy."

"But I don't understand! Grandmother said that I was supposed to bring two things back with me to prove to the Wizengamot that I wasn't lying!" she said confused. "I don't understand!"

"You must bring back a human and magical animal from whatever world you go to," he explained carefully, "Your mother's going to be bringing me with her. We… haven't exactly decided on the animal, yet, since we're in… Greece, so to speak."

"Mount Olympus," Eileen realized. "Hercules?"

"Thank Palutena that answer is a no!" Sarah laughed. "No, child, no. You'll get to know each other better soon, I promise. Once the time comes for the prophecy to be nearing completion, we must gather in the Defense Hall of Prince Manor with the Sages."

"Prince Manor with the sages," Eileen repeated. "Wait, who and what am I supposed to bring from here? I can't exactly take the White Queen! I don't want to put her in danger!"

"I'll be going with you regardless of whether I'm chosen or not, dear," Mirana soothed, "It's a part of being me, I'm afraid. There's a fighter in another world who is in the same situation – your mother's twin's acquaintance, if I'm correct."

"Okay," Eileen contemplated. "Cheshire?"

"No," Sarah laughed. "Think again. He can't come with you, I'm afraid. Although I won't deny, it would be funny to see their reactions to him."

"I shall ask him to accompany me," Mirana said sitting on the edge of the fountain. "Perhaps… a snorklak?"

"I'm starting to wonder if this has something to do with the Lovegood family," Eileen muttered, and Sarah burst into a fit of laughter. "Just saying. So, who should I take? I can't take the twins, and everyone else is…"

"I'll go," hatter volunteered. "I'd love to see the above. I've never seen it before, I want to know what it looks like and if it's as wonderful as you say."

"But, hatter-!" Eileen protested, and Sarah cleared her throat. "Yes, mother?"

"Let him," she said, her tone and eyes giving no room for argument. "He is a Hightopp – they are respected above, if only by those who know Madam Malkin's trade."

"Well, we have our champion and her assistant," the white queen beamed. "Now all we need is her steed."

Eileen and the hatter exchanged concerned looks as they deadpanned and the fountain communication was broken.

* * *

Okay, the reason I can't give her step-dad's name is cause he's in a different crossover. Her step-father is Pit, off of Kid Icarus, her mom's new husband. She'll have some step-siblings of sorts eventually.


	8. Aboveland

Mirana: RabidOrochimaruOtaku doesn't own Harry Potter, Alice in Wonderland, or any of the characters. She only owns the intricate plotline and Eileen. Oh, and Eileen's rescuer. Please do enjoy her story.

* * *

"All you have to do is jump into the fountain," the white queen assured.

"I'm coming," she breathed before she leapt in like a madwoman, with hatter grabbing onto her to follow. As soon as they were under the surface, she felt the familiar waters of the Black Lake in Hogwarts. "Are you mad?"

"Yes, thank you," he beamed. "Now, where are we? Is this Hogwarts?"

"Yes," she said eyeballing it. "It'll be more like the Red Queen's palace, though, right now. It's normally not at all. Is that Uncle Severus?"

"Eileen!" Severus yelled astonished, and led her, and the hatter (under a disillusionment charm) to his office. "What on earth are you thinking? You should be in Wonderland!" he hissed.

"I want to know your opinion of my marrying if I was at age nineteen," Eileen said curiously, and Severus frowned deeply, and as did the hatter.

"You've gone mad," he realized, looking into her eyes to find that she had, indeed, gone slightly mad from overexposure to the tea parties in her memories. "If he is who you want, then I will not stand in your way. However, I must warn you that if he begins to behave like my father, I shall step in to protect you. You are the only child in this family that isn't of my parentage, you know, I can't have you getting lost."

"Of course," she beamed, and realized her attire. "How fitting that I should be dressed like the Hatter…"

"You should go back to Wonderland," he hissed, "Go back!"

"I cannot," she breathed, her eyes lighting up. "My soul mate is there. I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready for the prophecy."

"You _must _be," he hissed, before a feline appeared from thin air. "You must be her new familiar, then?"

"I wouldn't exactly say that," Cheshire purred. "I'm merely here to take her back to Underland… the White Queen wishes to see you, Eileen…"

"I'm sure the Red one would, too," Eileen muttered before taking the cat's paw. He grinned madly.

"You're mad," Severus stated.

"We're all a bit mad down here," the hatter beamed, and Severus dropped the disillusionment.

"You are…?" Severus piqued.

"Tarrant Hightopp," he beamed, "Otherwise known as the Mad Hatter!"

"I can see that last one," Severus scowled dryly. "Then you must be the Cheshire cat."

"Indeed," he purred.

"I sometimes used to imagine six impossible things before breakfast," Eileen reminensced, "Before…"

"Before what?" Hatter asked.

"Uncle, can I go back to Wool's for a moment?" Eileen beamed, her eyes changing color ever-so-slightly like the hatter's.

"I don't think it wise," he said warily. "Mrs. Quickly will be looking for you and will likely lock you up."

"Oh, but she can't," Eileen beamed. "You see, I'm as mad as a hatter now. And with hatter at my side, I can take her, and those-those-those _monsters_!"

"This is what you meant by if you had a reason to," hatter said, and she nodded as he recognized the black shadows under her eyes and the orange in her eyes as a trait from him. "You truly are descended from a Hightopp, otherwise your eyes would still be normal to my exposure to you."

"They ran out to save their own skins, those gutless," Eileen began, but hatter put a hand on her shoulder and said her name very firmly. "Thank you."

"I see a reason to go," hatter said. "I will escort her to ensure that she does not get locked away, and it is only fair that those miniature Jabberwockies get what they deserve."

"Very well," Severus conceded. "But you will return straight to Underland. I'm putting my only niece in your care, hatter. _Don't _fail me, or there will be dire consequences."

"Aye," he beamed before Cheshire vanished them to the outside of the castle and then to a tall, run-down orphanage. "Is this it?"

"Yeah," she beamed. "I can't wait to see the look on that murderer's face when she sees what she's created in me. all those nightmares of what those others did – she'll wish that she'd protected me, but it's too late. She'll be going to the Red Queen's court under the Imperius curse if I have anything to say about it."

"You do," the hatter smiled before the door was yanked open.

"You ungrateful little bitch!" the woman yelled and grabbed at Eileen. "Thank you _so _very much for catching this little menace. She's just like her father used to be – always torturing the other children, scaring them, doing things that children her age shouldn't even know about!"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about her," the hatter smiled. "May I come in?"

"Of course," she beamed. "You'll probably be looking for one of the boys then if you're without your wife."

"Not married," he smiled, "Engaged. I was thinking of surprising my fiancée with a daughter, since she can't conceive."

"Ah," the woman said warily. "This one is off limits. You know why."

"Oh?" he piqued, tilting his head as he walked in. the orphans stared at him before most of the boys started snickering and giving grins towards Eileen that sent shivers up her spine and made her want to fight the Jabberwocky unprepared. She knew what those smirks meant – trouble.

"Hey, Eileen, you missed all the fun!" the oldest boy yelled.

"Yeah! Come sit with us as a welcome back to hell!" they laughed. "Come on!"

"No," the hatter growled, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Something's not right here…"

"You got it, hatter," she beamed before tilting her head. "They remind me of RQ's Jabber-baby-wockies, wouldn't you agree?"

"Hm," he considered, noting what she'd said pertaining to Underland. "The Vorpal Sword."

"Yes, and WQ," she smirked evilly. "And let's not forget our little Chess set."

"Or the rodents," he continued.

"or the birds," she continued.

"or the cards," he said. "or the cat."

"Or the bandersnatch," she considered, and he looked at her as though she were mad. "Just a speculation."

"I don't know what you're pulling on him, Eileen," the caretaker said yanking her up. "but I will not have any of this witchcraft in my house! Get to your room and stay there! Isaac, Steven, Raye, Norton, make sure she doesn't leave the room. I don't care if it drives her mad, don't let her out."

"You bloody cowards!" she screamed. "I'll slay you lot after I slay the Jabberwocky!"

"No need for that, love," the hatter beamed quietly, his eyes once again returning to orange and the shadows returning under his eyes. The woman backed away quickly at the hatter's newfound, terrifying image. "This time, it'll be I who be slaying the Jabberwockies."

* * *

What should hatter do to them? I was thinking of yanking them to Underland and putting them under the Red Queen's rule. Or letting them into Hogwarts and destroying them.


	9. A VERY Mad Hatter

Hatter: (still mad) R.O.O. doesn't own…

Eileen: (cringing from the boys) only owns me, Wool's orphanage kids and owner, and any parents you see in the story. Except Uncle Sev and his parents.

* * *

The boys glared at Eileen, ripping her dress off of her cruelly and leaving it in nothing more than ribbons and her top hat strewn on her bedside. She cringed, trying to use magic, but it was no use – Dumbledore had bound it when she'd first let loose wild magic here at age three and killed another person on accident.

She glared, wishing she'd had the Vorpal Sword with her, and realized that Cheshire wasn't her familiar at all. She felt her vision getting dizzy and the room began swimming. She could hear them laughing and mocking at what they were going to do to her now that she was back, and her body revved into high gear to protect itself.

"Off with your heads," she growled, grabbing her rod that she'd stuffed into the side of her bed and rammed it against one of the boys' heads, causing him to hit the floor.

"You ungrateful bitch!" another snarled. "After all those times we fucked you, this is how you repay our birthday and Christmas presents?"

"The only thing I'm grateful for with you lot is that you never gave me an un-birthday present!" she shot back, confusing them.

The boys flinched as they heard yelling from downstairs, in a voice that was very much like the hatter's they'd seen before, only much more terrifying and dark. And loud.

"that'll be Hightopp," she beamed before ramming each one of their heads with the rod a few times, an extra time on their male parts for good measure. "Maybe that'll teach you not to think with your penises, you Jabberwockies."

"Ungrateful _bitch_," the leader snarled, and she used wild magic to transform the rod into a sword. She wielded it, and they backed off.

"Off with your heads," she beamed as she charged forwards.

"You're not getting Eileen," the woman insisted. "A man by the name of Tom Riddle came by to pick her up only to find her gone. He says that she's his daughter and that he was too busy with work to care for her until now."

"He never has," hatter said darkly. "Eileen explained it all. He's a murderer."

"Tom? He was a gentleman," she said dismissing it. "Terrifying and oddly dressed, but a gentleman. A _sane _gentleman, who was a businessman for a living."

The hatter's eyes grew dark yet again.

"He ran out to save his own skin, and betrayed his child by killing her mother just after she was done giving birth. She was conceived through rape, and has been raped by those boys by the looks that she was giving them and they her. and you – you're just as bad as the Bloody Red Queen."

"And you're as mad as a hatter," she retorted.

"I _am _mad," he conceded. "And I am a hatter. I'm _the _Mad Hatter, one and only to the White Queen. I need not tell you much more, but you'll be terribly late for your tea if we stay much more to discuss this. Give me Eileen and the four boys who went upstairs, and we'll leave you alone permanently."

"No," she shot back. "Those four keep all the others in line. They're perfect little angels."

"They're little monsters," he growled. "It doesn't take a genius, or a sane person to know that she's terrified of them. She'll slay them without a hesitation if they raise a hand against her."

"They would never!" she shot angrily, "Those boys are nothing but little angels! They've only been giving Eileen what she rightfully deserves, and that is what her father did to the other orphans when he was her age! If she doesn't like how they fuck her, that's her damn problem!"

The hatter's eyes grew to an outrageous orange and his shadows grew so dark that it looked like they were the very epitome of the pits of hell. She crawled backwards as she realized what she'd said.

"They fucked her? they _fucked _our champion? How _dare _they! How long has this been happening? How many times a year? How many boys? How many times did she tell you and you do nothing? How many times has she driven someone to madness in protection? How many times did she go to you and beg for you to lock her somewhere safe or to send her away and you denied her the very right that every child should have? HOW MANY, YOU GUTLESS, SCOTTISH PILIGERING GOOD FOR NOTHING-!"

"Hatter!" Eileen called down, and he froze, his voice straining. "Hatter, I need some clothes up here!"

He shot a glare at the caretaker before racing upstairs and knocking on Eileen's door. After a quick enter from her, he barged in to find her wrapped in her filthy, grimy bed sheets (which had literally gone without washing since Voldemort used them), and the other boys on the floor naked with bruises and cut wounds on them, their male parts also severed from them.

"Not the usual meaning of 'off with their heads' I know," she smiled madly. "But I felt it appropriate since they were… you know."

"Trying to rape you," he choked, and she nodded as she looked away. "you're still our Eileen. We still love you. Mirana will be able to find a cure for you, I'm sure."

"thanks," she grinned as he picked up the boys' clothes and began to sew her a new dress with them quickly. "Wow, that's amazing. Where did you learn that?"

"My parents," he grinned. "We Hightopp's have always been employed in the royal courts, remember?"

"That's amazing, Hatter," she beamed before furrowing her brow in confusion. "Hatter? Are you sure that your mother isn't alive?"

"I don't know what happened to her," he admitted. "I've always meant to go back to the home I was raised in, but…"

"We should," Eileen said gently. "Besides – I've already gotten rid of these bloody jabberwockies' heads, in a different sense of the word. All that's left now is the black queen."

"Indeed," the hatter grinned madly, his eyes now turning black and the shadows that were once under his eyes had gone from black back to pink again, and were now going to a dark green as it was silver that shone above his eyes.

"I like this," Eileen beamed as she put the dress on and hatter glared at each of the boys in turn. "Wow, Hatter, this is amazing! You've _got _to teach me your trade!"

"Perhaps after the Frabjous day," he smiled as he held out her hand. "I won't hurt you. It is a crime to harm a champion. These boys learned so the hard way."

* * *

What do you think Mrs. Quickly's punishment will be?

Reviews don't make the world go round, but they most certainly do bring faster fanfics and crossovers!


	10. Return to Underland

Eileen: (still eyeing her new dress): R.O.O. doesn't own anyone but me, the orphans and orphanage owners, the Snape family, except Uncle Severus and his parents, and a couple other future characters that will be added in later.

Hatter: Come, come, we must commence!

* * *

"It's true, then," Hatter said dejectedly.

"What?"

"They raped you," he said quietly, and her eyes widened. "She told me."

"She knew? She listened and did nothing," Eileen realized. "That _bitch_. I'd slay her, but I've got something much better in mind."

"How long has this been happening?" Hatter choked out, and the other orphans stared in shock and horror. The four boys were dying upstairs, while their mistress was bound and gagged, and here they were in the presence of the girl who had been tortured simply because of what her father had done to those his age.

"Ever since I was seven," she said, and the others' eyes widened in shock. "At least twice a year, more often if the four idiots dying upstairs wanted it. I told her every time they did, and she did nothing, and kept telling me to enjoy it like I was supposedly supposed to."

"What're we going to do now?" one of the older girls asked, and Eileen grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"We're going to give her what she deserves," she said simply.

"How so?" hatter asked, and Eileen looked at him like it was obvious. She would be locked in a room upstairs for months, reading nothing, writing nothing, eating only the color of food that matched the ugly yellow wallpaper. "But how are we to do that?"

"Simple," she grinned. "The kids will enforce this. We'll use a cat flap for the food to come in and out of for meals, and continue on the outside as though she were in charge until she was finally mad. Now, do you lot have any objections?"

The children said nothing, and the hatter stared at their audacity and willingness to please. He then realized that this must have been a recurring occurrence for not just Eileen, but for _all _the females who misbehaved in any way.

"It doesn't matter," he said quietly.

"What doesn't matter?" Eileen asked, and he looked at her.

"You're still the same Eileen," he said. "With just a little bit of your muchness back."

"Thanks," she grinned as Cheshire appeared beside her. "Time to go?"

"Yes," he said blinking. "To the Red Queen's Palace."

"Alright," she said as she held out her hand and he evaporated them to the Red Queen's palace, behind a bush.

* * *

So, how long do you think it'll take her to go mad? Oh, and I got the idea for the orphanage woman from the story called _The Yellow Wallpaper_. I watched the movie of it and it scared the crap out of me. I felt the woman's fear as she was going insane (made me want to paint my walls a solid blue or purple) and I thought I'd use this chapter to vent my fears out from the movie.

Reviews please! I read them all, you know.


	11. Salazen Grum

Cheshire: She doesn't own anyone in Underland except Eileen and her rescuer…

R.O.O.: You heard the cat, I own almost nobody. Anyhow, enjoy. We'll see the reactions of the orphanage and the Muggles a bit later. Anyhow, on with the show.

* * *

"Hatter?" Eileen asked, and he looked over at her. "Do you love me?"

"I've often wondered what love truly is," he said side-stepping the minefield. "But, in theory, yes, there is still a soul mate for everyone."

"Even now that you know my true past?" she asked looking at him, and he nodded. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"I'd like to slay them," he admitted, "But I think that your punishment will fit them just as well."

"Hatter," Eileen said quietly, "Do you love me?"

"I don't know," he said carefully, "I know I do, but I don't know what kind of love it is yet."

"Oh," she said crestfallen before the Jubjub bird flew overhead. "Wait here."

Three days later, Eileen was sitting in the court with the hatter sitting on his feet, his knees on the ground before him, shackled. Naturally, the queen was demanding to know where Eileen was. He, however, was laughing at her question of how he'd like it if he lost his head. Eileen was staring around her and waiting for the Oraculum and the Vorpal sword's location to be made known to her.

"And who is this lovely creature?" Stayne asked after the hatter was taken away and the trio was alone again in the room.

"Um," the queen said. "My new favorite."

"What is your name?" he asked Eileen.

"Um," the Red Queen repeated.

"I believe your name has slipped the queen's mind," he said to Eileen.

"Her name is Um, IDIOT!" the queen yelled.

"From Umbrage," Eileen said simply, trying not to laugh.

Stayne simply glared before Eileen stood up and left to go to the gardens to look at the roses. He followed her, and she began to smile and sniff the flowers, a luxury she never had in the orphanage, neither metaphorically or literally. He kept a watchful eye on her and she began to explore further, looking around further and eyeing him warily.

"What's in there?" she asked him pointing at a shack.

"The bandersnatch," he replied, and she ran in the opposite direction of the shack. "Smart girl."

"Thank you," she said smiling. "No one's ever said that to me before. They used to mock me in Umbrage, so I came here hoping that her majesty would know what it's like."

"Which queen?" he asked.

"There's more than one?" Eileen asked incredulously. "I'd hate to meet the tyrant that the other one must have been… her majesty is so kind, I simply cannot fathom why the people don't like her."

She was, of course, referring to the white queen, but Stayne mistook it for talk about the red one.

"She is most gracious," he conceded, "have you met the white queen?"

"Her color is white?" she asked, and shook her head. "How horrifying that must be, to be surrounded by white all day every day!"

This time, she was referring to an asylum, and again Stayne mistook her words.

"I often wonder what it would be like to fly," Eileen said mystically, and he gave her a look that asked if she was as mad as a hatter. "Well, I should probably be getting inside. I don't want to catch my death when the queen honors me with the privilege of remaining in her throne room with her."

Stayne stared at her wondering if he'd been mistaken about her before he finally followed her inside the castle.

"So that's what my little niece is up to," a female smirked in the shadows. "This will be fun to watch."

* * *

So, what do you think'll happen next? The bandersnatch, of course!

Reviewers will find out what Eileen's familiar is before it's said in the story!


	12. Hoodwinked!

Stayne: If you think that RabidOrochimaruOtaku owns anyone but Eileen and her rescuer, then I'll report you to the Red Queen.

Red Queen: What now?

Stayne: Um…. On with the story!

* * *

Eileen stared at the shack the bandersnatch was in. She felt bad for it having its eye gouged out, and had taken it back from Mallymkun before coming here. She drew in a deep breath to steel her nerves before looking around her and flitting towards it quickly and silently. She quickly took note of what it looked like, and stared before it growled at her angrily.

"I know you hate me," she said quickly, "But I just felt so bad that your eye was gouged out. I just wanted to return it to you."

She held it out, and it took the eye in its paw before putting it back in its empty socket. It licked the newly-filled socket, and blinked a few times, as though resizing her up. It looked at her bandaged injury, and stared before blinking as she winced in pain and removed the bandages. She gaped in horror at her injury, which was now swollen, a very angry red, and feeling as though her arm was on fire. The bandersnatch held its tongue aloft before licking her wound a few times, healing it.

"Thank you," she whispered as she retrieved the key from its neck, "I guess that makes us even."

She raced up to the hatter, excited, and quickly explained how she'd gotten the sword, and he clapped with glee. Mally listened quietly, and the white rabbit handed her the Oraculum.

"Thank you, Nivens," Eileen said kindly as she took it and hid it in the least likely of places to be searched should she be captured. "When I get out of here, cause a riot, but don't get anyone feared-er, dead."

"Arrest that girl for unlawful seduction!" Stayne yelled, having seen her leaving the bandersnatch's hideaway.

"Run, Eileen!" Mally yelled before covering her mouth in horror at what she'd done.

Both Eileen and Stayne beamed evilly before she removed his chain and shackles with the Vorpal Sword, and then moving so hatter could properly fight Stayne. As hatter dueled, Eileen charged down the hall, bounded down the steps three at a time, and raced outside to find that she was being surrounded by the card soldiers.

"Well," Stayne admitted, "It's not very often the queen is fooled."

The cards were soon being sent flying – literally – by the bandersnatch, who was barreling towards Eileen without a second thought. He stopped and snarled at Stayne, who stood slack-jawed at the sight of Eileen now mounting what she'd been terrified of the night before.

"You're an idiot," Eileen beamed before turning the bandersnatch around and guiding it out of the castle.

Stayne paled before going straight to the queen obediently, but like a lost puppy who'd been kicked where it hurt.

"Eileen has escaped," he reported, and the Red Queen jerked her head towards him and slapped him harshly across the face. "With the Vorpal sword." She slaps him again. "On the bandersnatch."

She slapped him a third time and was about to yell out for him to lose his head.

"But," he said quickly, "We found her conspirators! The Hatter and a dormouse!"

"We've been hoodwinked," she scowled, "Off with her head! Off with their heads!"

The bandersnatch in question charged straight to Mamareal and Eileen and the White Queen both beamed as they saw who the other one was. Eileen dismounted, and the bandersnatch sniffed the White Queen. Mirana took the sword that Eileen was holding out, and held it up, breathing its scent deeply with her nose.

"At last the Vorpal sword is home," she breathed, "Now all we need is our champion. You're a bit young to be fighting…"

"Blame it on going back above," she shrugged, and Mirana smiled before leading her to the kitchens, where Thackery was making soup.

"Now, let's see," she said thoughtfully, "Aging potion… ah, here we are."

"I wonder what the Hatter's doing now," Eileen contemplated. "I hope he's alright…"

"Cheshire will know," she smiled softly. "He loves you, you know. Tarrant."

Eileen could do nothing more than stare at the White Queen.

And Cheshire did, indeed, know Tarrant's location.

"I've always admired that hat," Cheshire said as he appeared before Tarrant's cell.

"Hello, Chessur," hatter said dejectedly.

"Since you won't be needing it anymore," the cat said vanishing before reappearing in the cell a few seconds later, sitting on the rim of the hat and beginning to knead it with his front paws, "Would you consider bequeathing it to me?"

"How dare you," the hatter said offended as he took his hat back. "It is a formal execution, I would like to look my best you know."

"It was a pity about all this," Chessur said. "I was looking forward to seeing you Fudderwacken."

"I was rather good at it, was I not?" hatter reminisced.

"I really _do _love that hat," the cat said leaning in with a mad gleam in his eyes and smile, "I would wear it to all the finest occasions."

* * *

I'm fairly sure you know how the execution scene goes, so we're going to skip to where they're back in Mamareal with Mirana. Anyhow, Eileen finds that the things they know of aren't always as they seem.

Review to see what I mean!


	13. Back to Mamareal

Still don't own. Oh, and Eileen finds a few things to be shockingly familiar...

* * *

"Your sword," Eileen said as she walked up to Mirana, the White Queen.

The white queen smiled and took the sword, holding it up with one hand and running the other down the side of the powerful blade. She took a deep breath in relief before sighing and placing the sword with the remaining armor that was standing to the side of the throne.

"Now all we need is our champion," Mirana said eyeing Eileen.

"I really don't want to do this, but… I don't think I can slay a dragon," Eileen said nervously, still hoping that Charlie wouldn't be too angry with her.

"Oh, but my dear-you are the one of prophecy!" Mirana protested, "And the Jabberwocky has killed hundreds of people, innocent people! You are the only one who can do this!"

Eileen stared at her before shaking her head and running off with tears in her eyes. She ran as long and as fast as she could, and her magic apparated her to the house of the woman who had saved her life. It wasn't long before Eileen was sobbing out the entire story of what had been happening and what had happened to the elderly woman, who was watching wisely silent. Her eyes had widened when Eileen had mentioned the Mad Hatter, or Tarrant Hightopp, but the young Slytherin was too distraught to notice.

"Tarrant," she said softly as Eileen finished, "My son. You found my son."

Eileen's eyes widened before she stood up angrily with tears flooding down her face.

"I tell you I have to kill the Jabberwocky, and all you can think of is of the Mad Hatter!" Eileen yelled angrily, and the woman jumped. "This is why I never trust adults!"

And with that she apparated away to the Red Queen's castle to shoot and hex as many possible things as she possibly could into oblivion. With the card soldiers scrambling for survival, people running from her left, right and center, and the Red Queen screaming "Off with her head", Eileen now knew just what it felt like to be a Death Eater, to a degree. She was quite pleased to have sent a bottle of shrinking solution at the Red Queen's head, causing it to shrink for what she knew would be until the Frabjous Day at the latest.

With her anger spent, she went off to Mamareal to talk to the Mad Hatter, who was busy making clothes for her.

"Eileen!" he smiled widely holding up a dress, but stopped short when he noticed that her eyes were red and puffy as she'd been crying. "What is it?"

"I can't slay," she snapped, "I. CAN'T. BLOODY. _SLAY!"_

"You know what happened," he said quietly, "But in the end, the White Queen won't force you to. If not now, then can you at least tell me why?"

"A friend of mine raises dragons," Eileen explained, "I don't want to betray him by killing one…"

"Eileen," a dragon patronus said as it flew in, "I got a patronus of a butterfly that told me in a woman's voice that you were upset. I figured you'd be upset about killing something, so I just thought I'd let you know that if it's part of a prophecy, then slay it, and don't let me and my morals get in the way. Besides that, you're a Slytherin – you'll think of something to weasel out of trouble in the end anyways."

Eileen scowled with hot tears running down her face yet again. she cast a quick patronus to find that it was not what she thought it was, but of the magical world version of the bandersnatch. She sent it off with a message to Charlie Weasley, and another dragon appeared ten minutes later.

"It is forbidden for Dragon Tamers," the dragon patronus said, and an empty feeling filled her stomach and caused her to feel like something was amiss.

"Then what the hell am I supposed to do now?!" she screamed just before Mirana walked in with a tray of tea for three.

"Trouble?" she asked confused.

"I'll do it," Eileen growled, "I'll kill the bloody damned Jabberwocky. And I'll make sure it's so dead that nothing, _nothing _can bring it back."

The White Queen and the Hatter paled as Eileen's magic crackled powerfully in the air, and the Hatter's mother walked in with a sorrowful look on her face before seeing her son and then Eileen.

"Mother," Hatter gasped and went over to embrace her.

"Somebody hex me," Eileen muttered before apparating away to the clearing she'd met the Hatter in to scream and cry her lungs and eyes out.

.

.

.

When she awoke the next morning, a woman that she realized was her mother was standing above her with a sorrowful look in her eyes.

"Love is a fickle thing, isn't it?" she asked, "I fell in love once, was attacked to conceive you, and then finally found my soul mate in my husband. Don't worry, he forgives you."

"Charlie," Eileen growled, "This is ENTIRELY HIS FAULT!"

"If it's his fault then get your revenge by killing the Jabberwocky," Sarah said calmly, "it is the only way for the prophecy to be fulfilled. If you fail, your entire family, _our _entire lineage, is destroyed. The Hightopp clan is also on its last leg, and the Mad Hatter – well, he's already chosen you."

"Wait, the Hatter actually still cares for me after what I did in that orphanage? After what those boys did to me?" she asked incredulously, and Sarah nodded. "Bloody hell! Why?!"

"Because, you are the first one aside from his mother and the animals who has not shied away from him after he saved the White Queen's life," Sarah explained, "He loves you. He realizes just how strong you are, and how extremely loyal as well. He knows just how dark a secret it is that you've trusted to him, and he knows that it was the one thing that you were the most ashamed to admit."

Eileen sat sulking silently before standing up and apparating away to the castle, donning the armor, and grabbing the sword. She walked outside to find an army of white chess pieces assembled, with the Bandersnatch waiting at the front alongside a white horse that Mirana was on. it was without a word that Eileen went and mounted the bandersnatch, giving Mirana a look that left no room for arguments on whether or not she'd be able to perform her deed.

"Hello, Um," the Red Queen said tartly as Eileen stepped forward once they reached the large battlefield that looked like a large chess board.

"Sister," Mirana pled, blinking her eyes at the Red Queen, whose bulbous head was returned to normal.

"I know what you're doing," the Red Queen spat angrily, "You're trying to blink your little eyes and win me over like you did mother and father! It won't work!"

"Please," Mirana pled again.

"NO! IT'S _MY _KINGDOM!" she screamed, "JABBERWOCKY!"

Eileen gaped as the Jabberwocky awoke with a loud snapping noise behind the large army of card soldiers. It was a large dragon, with spikes on the sides of its head, and it spat electricity and spoke in a snarl as it crawled forwards dangerously. The two Queens back off into their armies to watch the fight, and Eileen stood gaping still.

"What have I done?" Eileen murmured terrified.

* * *

Yes, a terrified and cowardly Slytherin. You know what to do, my lovelies. A large amount of candies and rewards (virtual, of course!) to those who review!


	14. EndGame

Recap: Eileen's in front of the Jabberwocky. Enough said.

Oh, and I still don't own.

* * *

"Holy shit," Mallymkun said awed as she gaped as well.

"This is impossible," Eileen murmured.

"Only if you believe it is," Hatter murmured in her ear.

"We meet again, my old foe," the Jabberwocky said in a dark voice that sent shivers down the Hatter's spine so he shuddered.

"Never met," Eileen growled. It came out a lot more confident than she was, to her releif.

"Not you, insignificant wielder!" the dragon snapped, "My arch-enemy, The Vorpal sword!"

"Enough talk," Eileen snapped as she cut off his tongue.

He spat fire and lightning angrily at her and she threw her shield up to protect herself, letting out a squeal of surprise.

"Six impossible things, count them, Eileen," Eileen began coaching herself as she ducked and dodged. "One, there's a world underneath ours that you go through a rabbit hole to get through."

She dodged another attack from the Jabberwocky.

"Two, Caterpillars and animals can talk. Three, there's a cat that can smile and disappear into nothingness. Four, you slept for a few years and woke up like nothing happened. Five, the bandersnatch is your familiar."

As she said each one, she dodged another blow from the Jabberwocky, who was furious, and growing more so by every second.

"Six," she finished, "I can slay the Jabberwocky."

There was only one tight spot that she thought it would kill her, but it jerked its head to reveal that the hatter had stabbed him in the tail. As soon as interference was called – or rather screamed – by the Red Queen, the two armies surged forwards to battle.

Eileen began ducking and dodging, and finally raced up a castle tower and stood firmly just before dodging yet another blow. She jumped on its tail just before it flicked it up angrily before it realized what it had just done.

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" Eileen screamed with a mad smile as she jerked the sword downwards, thrusting it down as much as she could, and she felt it absorb her magic to help impact the blow and make a nice clean cut in the Jabberwocky's neck.

The jabberwocky's head went galumphing down the tower stairs as its body fell to the ground flailing like a headless chicken. It staggered for a few more moments as it landed and then collapsed dead, with a nauseated Eileen trying desperately not to faint.

"What are you waiting for?! Kill her!" the Red Queen screamed angrily and pointing at Eileen.

"We don't take orders from you anymore," on soldier said throwing down his weapon.

The rest followed wordlessly in suit as the victorious army cheered just before Eileen fainted clean away onto the ground in a heap. Hatter ran to her immediately, and lifted her chest up and began trying to check for a pulse.

"She's only fainted, Tarrant," Mirana said gently, "Let her rest."

Tarrant and the others were startled by the Queen's crown floating over from the Red to the White Queens' head, with Cheshire appearing to place it gently on his queen's head. The white Queen then proceeded to banish the Red Queen and Stayne, with the Hatter stopping the latter from killing the former with a small needle for a knife.

"He tried to kill me," the Red Queen said stunned. "He tried to kill me!"

She would repeat this phrase all the way to the outlands where she was banished to, while Hatter turned his attention back to Eileen, who was faintly stirring.

"Here," Mirana said lifting Eileen's upper body and placing the bandersnatch underneath it.

The hatter smiled gently as he moved a lock out of Eileen's face before going off on a small raised hill to go and Fudderwacken in front of all the others, who were laughing and smiling with glee. Eileen remained unconscious, and Hatter helped lift her back onto the back of the bandersnatch, and then kept his hand on Eileen's back and the other on the bandersnatch's chain just before leading it back to Mamareal.

"What now?" the hatter asked worried as he looked at Eileen's pale and sleeping form. "She must go back above, but what will we do?"

"We will go with her, the three of us," Mirana said wisely, "Each world of the prophecy that she is in above will send a leader, a ruler, a familiar, and a champion. A few may send more than one ruler if that is what their world's prophecy requires."

"If I may, I wish to go," Hatter said tightly, "I cannot bear to leave her alone."

"I understand," Mirana smiled, "You love her, don't you, Tarrant?"

"Yes, very much," he replied as he moved another strand of hair from Eileen's face. "I want to stay with her always."

"Even if it meant leaving your home and mother?" Mirana asked, and he looked up sadly and nodded again. "I will give the two of you the gift to come and go to and from Underland as you please once all of this is over, my General."

Hatter beamed as they went back through the castle gates to the welcome home and victory party that the citizens of Mamareal and Salazen Grum, who had recently escaped from the Red Queen, erupted into loud cheers of victory as they saw their queen smiling widely alongside their general. They all knew that their queen would never smile if her champion had lost their life, so that led them to assume that Eileen had collapsed from exhaustion.

The party lasted long into the night and well into the next night as well. Eileen never stirred, and one worried Tarrant Hightopp never left her side. Mirana was proud that the two had finally realized their love for each other, and knew that the trials and troubles ahead for the two were only the beginning.

* * *

Yes, he finally puts two and two together. I can't wait for the next chapter! It's the introduction (like at the end of all the Deathly Heroes series) that will lead into the next (or rather, seventh) Crossover.

Please review, my lovelies!


	15. Messenger of Fire

I don't own anything from Harry Potter or Alice in Wonderland:2010. Eileen, however, is mine, as well as the Hatter's mother.

* * *

"Tarrant, how long do you think it will take us to get back up?" Eileen asked a week later, and he smiled at her and kissed her. "Seriously though; how long?"

"However long it takes for her Majesty to fulfill her promise," he said vaguely, and Eileen tilted her head to the side. "She promised us a looking glass so that we could come and go through both worlds as we pleased."

Eileen gasped just before he kissed her again gently and grinned madly. She noticed the somewhat hungry look in his eyes, and began worrying.

"Tarrant, when we get back above, what will happen? If it's discovered that they let a twelve year old marry a twenty-five year old, I'll be killed!" she panicked, "Uncle Severus will have my head if no-one else, and I don't mean that as a pun!"

"I believe I have a solution," Mirana said from the doorway, "It is nearing time to go to the Wizengamot as the four of us. However, during the time in the Wizengamot, Tarrant will not be his current age, but he will be de-aged by a few years to make him seventeen again, and permanently so that there is not such a large age gap between the two of you."

"Oh, thank you, Mirana!" Eileen cried as she leapt up and hugged the queen. "Thank you so much!"

"Anything for my little champion," she smiled gently, "And besides, you're the last remaining heirs to the Slytherin and Hightopp names. Someone has to carry on the lines in both worlds."

Eileen beamed before giving her new husband a mischievous look that warned Mirana to clear out. The queen left, and she could faintly hear the two laughing madly at each other as she went down the hallway. She almost began wondering if they were a safe couple together, but stopped that train of thought with the knowledge that they were already married and would let her know if they were unhappy.

.

.

.

"Tarrant, have I ever told you that I love you?" Eileen asked the next day as they awoke in the early morning.

The Mad Hatter smiled at his wife before kissing her and beginning to tickle her in the spots that he knew she was _extremely _ticklish, most especially when it comes to feathers, which he was using one.

"Stop it!" she begged out of breath, "Stop! Tarrant!"

"We're still investigating things that begin with the letter M," he said vaguely as he continued to tickle her.

"Maniac, monster, madness, morocco, marmalade, mime, mine, mock, mommy," she rattled out of breath and he finally relented and stopped. "Mad."

"I love you, too," he chuckled before kissing her again. "Now, what about N?"

"Nanny, ninny, numb, nimble, nox, Norbert, Norway, nap, nothing, nowhere, nobody, nowise, nose, normal, naked," she rattled and grinned at the final one as he looked down. "Nude."

"I'm going to say that you've gone mad," he ventured, "But I love you anyways, my little Mad Witch. I can't think of a person or thing I've loved more, not even my trade."

"I love you, too, Tarrant," she smiled before straddling his hips. "Now, why don't we begin investigating things that begin with the letter S?"

.

.

.

"Has anyone seen a Tarrant Hightopp?" a red haired male said as he dismounted a dragon. "I was also looking for an Eileen Snape."

"Ah, Tarrant and Eileen Hightopp are up in their rooms on their honeymoon," Nivens supplied, and Charlie Weasley did a double take.

"But she's only twelve!" he protested.

"Not for long she wasn't," Mally supplied, "Her body aged faster in this world so she could slay the Jabberwocky. She'll be back to normal when she gets back to the above with him, though."

"So, she really did move on," Charlie said reminiscing, "Her patronus proved that she was terribly upset, but I had no idea that she had a backup."

"Oi, he's been in love with her since the minute he saw her!" Mally yelled up at him, and brandishing a needle as her sword as she did so. "Back off!"

"Relax, I was coming to tell her that it's time for her to come to the above so we can all gather together to fulfill the prophecy," Charlie soothed as he pulled out a red Talisman.

"Oi! White Queen! Your majesty! We got someone from the other world here!" Mally yelled as she scampered off.

"What got her knickers in a twist?" Charlie muttered, and Nivens looked up at him with a frown. "I don't get why everyone here is so uptight."

"We are not!" Nivens protested, "We've been celebrating the victory of the Frabjous day for a week and a half now!"

"Ah, one of the wielders," Mirana said kindly as she went over, "You must be the dragon tamer."

"Yes, and I'm here for a group to fulfill some sort of prophecy," he supplied confused.

"Ah, if you'll give our two lovebirds a few more hours to get some rest, then we can get going," Mirana smiled gently before Nivens frowned up at her and twitched his ears in displeasure at the sounds that were coming from the Hightopp honeymoon suite.

"Have they no shame?" he said disgusted before bounding away on all fours to get out of hearing range.

"It's your own fault for eavesdropping, rabbit," Charlie called after him before the bandersnatch raced up and roared angrily in his face. "Mommy."

"Bandersnatch," Mirana scolded gently, "Let's wait for your mistress and her husband to get down here before we start that now."

The bandersnatch growled lowly at Charlie, sensing that he had been the one Eileen had been pining after until she realized that she and Hatter had been soul mates all along.

Charlie wet himself right as Eileen and Tarrant Hightopp reached the bottom of the stairs four hours later.

* * *

You thought the Messenger of Fire meant General Iroh, didn't you? Not to worry to those who were wrong, he shows up in the next one.

Next up is the next Deathly Heroes crossover where all the other crossovers come together!

The Title will be... (drumroll please)... _Deathly Heroes: United Forces_!


End file.
